Choosing Acceptance and Forgiveness

In life there are many experiences and events that are outside of our control. For example, our upbringing, being laid off from a job, or a relationship break down. Life is full of challenges for all of us. Something I have found helpful is taking a step back and accepting whatever situation I find myself in. When you wholeheartedly accept the way things are, it allows you to find some peace with circumstances. No one's life is perfect, despite superficial appearances, and we all have our challenges. Often in life, it's not so much what happens to us, but our attitude in terms of how we respond to situations.

We can all have some skeletons in our closet and unhealed trauma from our past. When you work with acceptance, it can lead you on the path to forgiveness and true freedom: Freedom from emotional upset and pain, along with the freedom to wipe the slate clean and start again. If someone in your life has hurt you, you may protest, "They don't deserve my forgiveness!" However, forgiveness is actually more about you and your healing journey. It's about choosing to let go of the hurt from others and finding peace in your heart. Perhaps also coming to the realization that they too are human and also make mistakes.

Sometimes in life, we also have to accept our own personal circumstances and realize that not everything can be changed. For example, with an illness or disability, while we can do things to improve our condition over time, sometimes a complete cure isn't always within reach. Accepting your health situation can also be an important part of your healing and your ability to move forward. Being hopeful for the future is important, no matter what situation you find yourself in. Accepting your past can help you move forward in your life journey and allow for rewarding new experiences. Remember, it's not so much what you go through in your life, but how you respond.

When you feel you've reached a point where you accept people as they are, the next step is forgiveness. It's completely okay if you don't feel ready to forgive. Everyone's circumstances are unique and at the end of the day it is everyone's free will choice to forgive or not. It doesn't mean that the way they treated you was acceptable or okay, it just means that you choose to let it go, for your own happiness and wellbeing. Forgiveness is also an integral part of ascension; being unwilling to forgive can delay your soul's progression. Having said that, we all choose the speed of our growth and learning, so there is no rush or time limit.

So how does one forgive? Think of it as a journey, not as something that occurs in an instant. It can be a process that you work on for days, months or even years. It's very much an individual journey and process. If this is something you feel ready for, or at least curious about, then the first step is to set the intention that you wish to work with acceptance and forgiveness. Accepting your past, including past hurts, along with accepting people from your past, such as family members or friends, some of whom may have hurt you, can be a good place to start. Having some insight or empathy can sometimes greatly assist you in putting yourself in their shoes, perhaps providing some insight into their upbringing, or the source of their behavior. Perhaps they were simply acting out the way they were treated while growing up; can you see how trauma repeats for generations?

The process of forgiveness can be a little different for everyone, so it's important not to be too hard on oneself during the process. You may have flashbacks or emotional outbursts, or feel sad or depressed, followed by periods of anger. Exercise can be a great outlet if you are feeling intense emotions or fluctuations in mood. Some people like to write or keep a journal and perhaps burn the paper afterwards, to represent the emotion being transmuted. It's not always an easy process, but when you reach the other side, you will reap the rewards, feeling lighter and brighter. Taking the process one day at a time, bit by bit, can be a better approach than tackling it all at once, which can be overwhelming.

You may like to receive some moral support from a friend or loved one, or seek out some professional counseling, to support you in this process. As the saying goes, time heals. It can take time to heal and become whole again. See this as a work in progress, and as a journey towards self-healing and self-discovery. You don't have to verbally say to the person who hurt you that you forgive them, it can simply be an inner decision. Remember, this is about you — your welfare, your wellbeing, and your healing. As it often takes time for hurt to build up, it can also take some time to fully heal and recover. Be gentle with yourself, seeing it as a worthwhile process in once again becoming whole and at peace.

Choosing acceptance and forgiveness is itself a choice. Much heartache can occur by replaying traumatic events over in our minds. It can feel like a broken record, replaying the experiences over and over. Working with acceptance and forgiveness is the antidote. Essentially, it's about refusing to be a victim and living an empowered life: Taking responsibility for your life and any perceived mistakes. We all make mistakes — these are part of the learning process. Endeavoring to learn from any poor choices and instead making choices from a higher level is key. When you engage with this process, choosing acceptance and forgiveness, you will feel lighter and have more personal freedom. It comes down to choice. What will you choose today?

By Brad Austen © 2021.